We started Bryce on Adderall XR two weeks ago. Ryan and I have seen a difference in some ways. Bryce talks to me more about his day, which before NEVER happened. When I would pick him up at school and ask about his day, he would say things like "I don't know" or "NOTHING!" He never wanted to discuss anything. Maybe because nothing was important about his day or maybe because he brain was spinning so out of control that he couldn't find words to describe his day? Who knows, anyhoo that is the past and today is a new day right? Well so NOW when I pick him up he tells me what he did, how lunch went and anything else important that the teacher tells the students to tell their parents. I AM SO EXCITED TO LEARN ABOUT HIS DAY! Besides that there is a tiny bit more of things I notice. When I ask him to do something, sometimes he does it right away! Also he has been a little better about remembering to say "thank you" without us having to ask him 3 times what to say. I haven't yet had a chance to sit down with his teacher and talk about if she is noticing a difference yet. I plan on going in there Friday and talking with her.
So on the downside, because there always is.....his emotions are totally out of control. I knew this could happen with the medication, but I wasn't prepared for how bad it was going to be. Adderall is an amphetamine which slows down the brain in people who have ADD/ADHD, but it also speeds people up who don't have that problem. That is why it is sold of the streets for high value, because people get high from it. They actually used it back in war for the pilots to stay awake. So since it is working in Bryce's brain, it is also running through his veins all day, making him a little more agitated and anxious. Of course since Bryce is already dealing with some depression and anxiety, we knew they might get worse. They have! Bryce is so emotional over everything, and it's not just crying it is straight up having a mental meltdown over something as small as not wanting to eat what's for dinner, or the rain is getting on his shoes. It is overwhelming not just for me but for him as well. Last night when he had this melt down because he drank some juice and he gagged and thought he might vomit, I ended up having to just hold him in my arms as he tried to struggle to get loose for a good 20 minutes until he finally calmed down enough that I wasn't worried he was going to have a heart attack. 45 minutes after the meltdown began he was fine, back to normal like nothing ever happened. The intensity of the situation is hard to explain. Some people will probably read this and say "oh yeah my kid does that if he doesn't get his ice cream." I have no idea how to drill it into peoples head but this is NOTHING like that!
So after discussing this with his doctor, we put him on another medication that is called Guanfacine. He takes this at night before bed and it will help calm down the emotions enough to get them under control, while the Adderall is still working to control his ADD. Hopefully with this combination Bryce can be a happy kid. That is what I want for Christmas from Santa, and God. I want my son to be happy, to live his life as a child does. I don't want my son to go through this anymore.
Thanks for listening.
Praying for another tomorrow, better than today. Praying for strength to guide us, and wisdom to know we are in the right direction.
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