Sunday, April 7, 2013

The love I have found

This past year has been a roller coaster of emotions for me. I have felt all my life there was a purpose for my life, yet I spent years not knowing what it was and just living for myself.

A few years before I met Ryan, I was in a bad relationship. One that would destroy who I was and in turn lead me to who I am. During those 2 years of being my past self, I let a man control my life, control my being. I let him yell at me , push me around, tell me I couldn't do anything, but still was all I had. I had gave up on my parents. I hadn't talked to them in months.

One day literally out of the blue, I heard a voice in my head saying this is it Blair, this is a moment in your life when you choose your destiny. I left that guy. I packed my stuff, I walked away. That night I went and hung out with my friend Julie. She took my to a party and I would learn later that at that very party I met my future husband. Although he remembers meeting me but unfortunately I don't remember. Even to this day I don't remember.

After a week or so I began to put the pieces of my so called life back together. Even though I knew my life with my former boyfriend was not what I deserved, after 2 years with him my heart was broken. I moved in with Julie. I got a job!!! We started hanging out at Jeremy's house and what do you know Ryan was hanging out there too!

Right away I thought he was adorable and sweet. We stayed up late one night, sitting outside and talked for hours. After that night we became inseparable. On November 10th, 1999 we went on our first official date and since that day we have been together. Sure there has been ups and downs just like in every relationship., but for me it has been nothing like I have ever had.

Years went by and we went to Church on occasion but never surrendered ourselves to The Lord. Something was stirring up in myself over the past couple years pushing me more into the feeling of needing more for our lives.

Last April we found a Church that we had heard great things about. So we went and checked it out. That day after we got home Ryan and I looked at each other and said this is it!!! This is our new home. Every Sunday we get up and we join our family in worshiping The Lord. It has become the best experience in my life. Last summer Ryan and I were both baptized and became official members of our Church.

I look at my past and then I look at where I am now and I know God helped me on this journey. I believe you choose your destiny but I know with all my heart, God placed Ryan and I in each others paths to find one another.

My husband is the reason I am who I am. I could say I chose to go to Church and I chose this and that, but truth is, Ryan led me to where I am today. I needed him to help me see me, to help me see The Lord. He is the one person who has been a constant rock in my life.

The best part of this life? A few days ago I was getting our almost 3 year old Greyson dressed and he looked at me and said "mama, I am so glad God made you!" That right there is priceless. That is my purpose in life. To be a mother, to be a wife, to be a constant rock for my family, just like my husband is.

No comments:

Post a Comment